i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
