How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
