found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
