yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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