well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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