I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
