Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
