also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
