dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
