Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
