I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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