btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
