How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Hippo gnu deer
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
