I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
