Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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