Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
