dude i'm inner monologue high
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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