We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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