she looked like the bat from fern gully.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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