Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
