I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
