He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
