took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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