Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
