Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
