careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
