Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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