How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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