My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
