I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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