No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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