I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
