No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
