I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
