scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
