I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i think i just lost a toe
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
