I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
