I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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