her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
