If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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