that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We are two peas in an std pod
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
