turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
