Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
