its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
