Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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