let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
