best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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