Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
