We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
