Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
