i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
