She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
