im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
