The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
