I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
