We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
