please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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