One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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