Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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